Случайные ивенты

These are random events that occur during a game regardless of gamemode. They have a relatively low chance of occurring, and are often (but not always) accompanied by a broadcasted message from CentCom. Some may only occur after so much time has elapsed during a round, or a certain number of players are present in the game.

Events

Anomalies

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Chance of occurrence: Varies

"<Anomaly type> detected on long range scanners. Expected location: <area name>."

A random type of anomaly spawns in a random location on the station! These tend to cause bad things if left alone. So hop to it! To neutralize an anomaly, grab an analyzer from a toolbox and a remote signaling device. Scan the anomaly with the analyzer, then send the signal with the frequency shown! This will neutralize the anomaly and leave behind a core, a relatively valuable item to science.

The anomalies will move around, so a bit of hunting may be necessary if it happens to stray from its location.

Types of anomalies

• Unstable bluespace anomaly (Rare)
  • If left unchecked, it will eventually detonate, warping every object in the area into a random location. Virology may end up in space! Tech storage may suddenly appear in the security wing!
• Localized hyper-energetic flux wave (Very common, 10 players minimum)
  • If left alone, it will eventually erupt in a violent explosion.
• Pyroclastic anomaly (Very common)
  • Creates plasma fires!
• Gravitational anomaly (Very common)
  • Pulls and flings objects everywhere nearby.
• Localized high-intensity vortex anomaly (Rare, 20 players minimum)
  • The rarest of the bunch. Consumes objects and creates hull breaches. Nasty!
• Hallucination anomaly
  • Causes anyone nearby to hallucinate vividly.
• Bioscrambler anomaly
  • Randomly swaps your limbs and organs with those of other species. Will not disappear on its own, and will instead continue pulsating until it is neutralized.
• Ectoplasmic anomaly (Rare)
  • This event increases in power as more observers (dead players) orbit it. If only a few are orbiting the anomaly, it might only end up making a mess of the surrounding area or begin to haunt nearby objects. You can estimate how "powerful" one of these anomalies will be by examining it.
  • If a majority of ghosts are orbiting the anomaly, it will summon a spooky ghost portal and spawn those players back into the world as (hostile) vengeful spirits. If you see one of these portals, you can destroy it and send them packing back to the realm of the dead!
  • Players orbiting the anomaly can control the direction it moves in by speaking directional commands into deadchat.

Aurora Caelus

Minimum round time: 5 minutes

Chance of occurrence: Overwhelmingly Low

"<Station Name>: A harmless cloud of ions is approaching your station, and will exhaust their energy battering the hull. Nanotrasen has approved a short break for all employees to relax and observe this very rare event. During this time, starlight will be bright but gentle, shifting between quiet green and blue colors. Any staff who would like to view these lights for themselves may proceed to the area nearest to them with viewing ports to open space. We hope you enjoy the lights."

The space around the hull glows with varying shades of green and blue as the ions batter themselves against the station.

Brand Intelligence

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Minimum players: 15

Chance of occurrence: Low

"Rampant brand intelligence has been detected aboard <station name>. Please inspect any <machine brand> brand vendors for aggressive marketing tactics, and reboot them if necessary."

One of the machine type specified in the CentCom notice has become sentient! If not stopped, it will begin to spread a virus to all other vending machines, causing them to animate and attack anything in sight!

The origin machine can be any of the vending machines in the station, from the soda machine in escape to the cigarette dispenser in the captain's office. It will shout aggressive speech at anyone nearby and launch products at anything in sight. To stop it and prevent it from infecting any other vendors, it must be either deconstructed or its wires all cut, or just simply screwdriver the panel open and flick the speaker switch to off.

Bureaucratic Error

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Chance of occurrence: Low

"A recent bureaucratic error in the Organic Resources Department may result in personnel shortages in some departments and redundant staffing in others."

Randomly sets the overflow role (the infinite slot one, default is Assistant) to any job in the game. You might end up wading in Wardens or drowning in Clowns

Camera Failure

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Chance of occurrence: Extremely High

One or two random cameras around the station will be deactivated.

Carp Migration

Minimum round time: 10 minutes

Minimum players: 12

Chance of occurrence: Above average

"Unknown biological entities have been detected near <station name>, please stand-by."

Space carp spawn around the station, with a migratory path that takes them directly through the station. Take care and have a good weapon handy when heading out into space, or if a carp has teleported into your workplace. Remember to watch yourself when around windows!

Chasmic Earthquake

Minimum round time: 35 minutes

Minimum players: 20

Chance of occurrence: Below average

"Planetary monitoring systems indicate a devastating seismic event in the near future."

A violent earthquake shakes the entire planet. Eventually, it will tear a large chasm in the structure of the station. If you see the floor tiles shaking, move out of the way unless you want to take a nasty fall!

This event can only occur on terrestrial maps, such as Icebox.

Clogged Vents

Minimum players: 5

Chance of occurrence: High

"<severity> biological obstruction detected in the ventilation network. Blockage is believed to be in <area>."

One of the station scrubbers will clog and begin pumping out creatures. These creatures are usually harmless, but there is a chance something truly nasty or bizarre might start crawling out instead. You can unclog a vent and stop the creatures with a plunger.

Communications Blackout

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Chance of occurrence: Very High

"Ionospheric anomalies dete'fZ\\kg5_0-BZZZZZT"

Telecommunications goes down temporarily. The crew isn't often alerted of this, but the AI always is. Sometimes confused due to crew incompetence with the Ion Storm, detailed below.

Disease Outbreak: Advanced

Minimum round time: 15 minutes

Minimum players: 35

Chance of occurrence: Above average

"Confirmed outbreak of level 7 viral biohazard aboard <station name>. All personnel must contain the outbreak."

Get your asses in gear, medbay! A virus has somehow made it aboard the station.

These viruses are randomly generated, and the longer the round has gone on, the worse the virus!

Due to the similar CentCom alert, expect many confused/dumb crewmen to fill communications with cries of "WHERE'S THE BLOB?" or "LYNCH VIRO."

Disease Outbreak: Classic

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Minimum players: 10

Chance of occurrence: Low

A variant of the Disease Outbreak event that uses pre-fabricated diseases over random ones.

Could be the common cold, could be the confusing space retrovirus, could be the crippling brainrot, or maybe just regular old Tuberculosis.

Electrical Storm

Minimum round time: 10 minutes

Minimum players: 5

Chance of occurrence: Above Average

"An electrical storm has been detected in your area, please repair potential electronic overloads."

A bunch of lights short out in a general area on the station. Annoying at best, but at least it gives the janitor something to do other than mop blood trails.

Fake Virus

Chance of occurrence: Above Average

One to three random crewmembers will start experiencing random virus symptoms, such as a headache, coughing, or sneezing. These symptoms will gradually increase in frequency and become more severe over the course of three minutes, after which the symptoms will vanish. A Health Analyzer should clear the misconception up. In addition, shortly after the first one to three crewmembers are afflicted, another one to five other random crewmembers will cough, sneeze, or feel lightheaded exactly once.

False Alarm

Minimum round time: 20 Minutes

Chance of occurrence: Above Average

Plays a false alarm message for about any other event. Fun with meteors.

Greytide Virus

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Minimum players: 5

Chance of occurrence: Average

"Gr3y.T1d3 virus detected in <station name> imprisonment subroutines. Recommend station AI involvement."

All of the doors in a specific department or multiple departments become bolted open. The AI or cyborgs can fix this quickly, but hacking will do in a pinch.

Grid Check

Minimum round time: 20 Minutes

Chance of occurrence: Average

"Abnormal activity detected in station name's powernet. As a precautionary measure, the station's power will be shut off for an indeterminate duration."

Shuts down all APCs stationwide for 30 to 120 seconds, with the exception of Engineering. Usually leads to stationwide looting once Assistants crowbar open airlocks.
Can be fixed early by hitting the APC's "Reset" button.

Immovable Rod

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Minimum players: 15

Chance of occurrence: Average

"What the fuck was that?!"

Something of a humorous physics joke, an immovable rod will travel through the station in a straight line causing reasonable amounts of damage to the structure and killing anybody unfortunate to be in its path. They take some time to travel through the station, make an immense amount of noise, and as such are avoidable to players with quick reflexes. They will often open up secure areas, resulting in looting. If an Immovable Rod's path includes the arrivals shuttle, or any of the escape pods, you will find out what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object.

Ion Storm

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Minimum players: 2, with at least one AI existing

Chance of occurrence: Above Average

"Ion storm detected near the station. Please check all AI-controlled equipment for errors."

All AIs aboard the station are uploaded with a random, glitched law! These new laws have random symbols for numbers, and thus are listed as the highest priority laws. New AI laws can range from bizarre and humorous to outright dangerous. A few examples include "CARGO REQUIRES THE STATION'S UNDERWEAR," "THE STATION IS HAPPIER WITHOUT VIPERS," and "JOHN SMITH IS A XENO." This sometimes results in someone having to reset the AI.

Ion storms can also cause the order of laws to be rearranged. Have fun with an AI that doesn't have "you may not harm a human" as priority #1!

Even better, Ion storms can sometimes replace laws or even whole lawsets.

Market Crash

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Chance of occurrence: Average

"Due to [reason], prices for on-station vendors will be increased for a short period."

Vending machine prices become extremely expensive for a short duration. Not to be confused with the SpaceCoin market crash.

Mass Hallucination

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Chance of occurrence: Average

Everyone shares a hallucination! Doesn't even have a CentCom notice. Might result in mass panic due to an imaginary delta alert notice.

Meteor Wave

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Minimum players: 15/25/25 (Normal/Threatening/Catastrophic)

Chance of occurrence: Below Average

"Meteors have been detected on collision course with the station."

Meteors begin to spawn on the outer edges of the map, hurling across space! These are capable of dealing heavy damage, if not instantly annihilating anything they collide with. Capable of even releasing the singularity with a few bad hits!

Meateor Wave

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Chance of occurrence: Very Low

"Meaty ores have been detected on collision course with the station."

Like meteors, but with meat and gibs instead of minerals.

Mice Migration

Minimum round time: 20 Minutes

Chance of occurrence: Average

"Migration Alert."

Spawns a bunch of cable-chewing mice all over the station's maintenance tunnels. It's a good idea to send in Engineers/cats/snakes/lizardpeople.

Obsession Awakening

Minimum round time: 20 Minutes

Minimum players: 20

Chance of occurrence: Average

A random crewmember is overcome by psychotic delusions, and develops an obsession with someone!

Portal Storm

Minimum round time: 30 minutes

Minimum players: 15

Chance of occurrence: Very Low

"Massive bluespace anomaly detected en route to <station name>. Brace for impact."

A bunch of green portals start appearing on the station, spawning syndicate shocktroops.

Processor Overload

Minimum round time: 20 Minutes

Minimum players: 20

Chance of occurrence: Above average

"Exospheric bubble inbound. Processor overload is likely. Please contact you*%xp25)`6cq-BZZT"

Blows up telecommunication processors and causes Engineers to despair as none of them know how to fix tcomms.

Radiation Leak

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Chance of occurrence: Above Average

"A radiation leak happens somewhere on the station, emanating radiation around a machine in the area. Engineering can stop the leak by using certain tools on it."

A random machine in a random department will begin emitting deadly radiation. The radiation can be stopped by using the correct tool on the machinery, which you can determine by examining it.

Radiation Storm

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Chance of occurrence: Average

"High levels of radiation detected near the station. Maintenance is best shielded from radiation."

Everyone caught outside of protected zones is subject to a hefty dose of radiation. If you're particularly unlucky, you might get a bad mutation, or an extra strong radiation pulse. If you're lucky, you might get a genetic power!

Random Heart Attack

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Minimum players: 40

Chance of occurrence: High

Unlucky spessmen get heart disease, which if it reaches stage 5, causes a heart attack. The only permanent cure for heart disease is surgery, albeit corazone can help stop the progression of heart disease. Using gym equipment will grant a hidden exercise buff that prevents heart disease for 20 minutes.

Random Human-level Intelligence

Minimum round time: 20 Minutes

Chance of occurrence: Average

"Based on [data], we believe that one of the station's [pets] has developed [random] level intelligence, and the ability to communicate."

Grants a ghost control over one of the station's simple animals/robots.

Sandstorm

Minimum round time: 35 minutes

Minimum players: 35

Chance of occurrence: Average

"A large wave of space dust is approaching from the [start_side_text] side of the station. Impact is expected in the next two minutes. All employees are encouraged to assist in repairs and damage mitigation if possible."

Waves of space dust batter a single side of the station for a while. Seriously damages windows, walls, and anything outside of the station in its path.

Scrubber Overflow

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Minimum players: 10

Chance of occurrence: Average

"The scrubbers network is experiencing a backpressure surge. Some ejection of contents may occur."

All of the station's scrubbers begin to eject various colors of slippery foam, filled with different chemicals that range from humorous to annoying to dangerous. This generally tends to make moving around in most areas slow and annoying. Foam doesn't go on tables; climb up onto one if you want to avoid filling your body with goop and gunk.

Shuttle Catastrophe

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Chance of occurrence: Average

"Your emergency shuttle had its shuttle inspector put the shuttle in reverse instead of park, causing the shuttle to crash into the hangar."

A disaster has unfolded while Centcom was preparing your emergency shuttle. The original/purchased emergency shuttle design will be swapped out with a random, different one.

Shuttle Insurance

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Chance of occurrence: Average

"Incoming subspace communication. Secure channel opened at all communication consoles."

...Fortunately, you can purchase insurance to prevent that from happening. If a shuttle catastrophe does occur, and you happened to have insurance, the station budget gets a bonus. Sweet!

Shuttle Loan

Minimum round time: 7 Minutes

Chance of occurrence: Average

CentCom takes control of the Supply Shuttle and recalls it for some purpose they state in the announcement.

Cargo Bay can decide whether they want to loan the Supply Shuttle to CentCom for 5 minutes through the Supply Shuttle Console. The station receives a nice sum of bonus cargo points, in exchange for the following...

• "The syndicate are trying to infiltrate your station. If you let them hijack your shuttle, you'll save us a headache."
  • A number of syndicate mobs come aboard the supply shuttle when it next comes. Have security arm up to take them out and safely confiscate any weapons they bring with them.
• "A group of angry russians want to have a party, can you send them your cargo shuttle then make them disappear?"
  • A number of armed and angry Russians, plus a bear or two come with the next supply shuttle. Kill them for some sweet duds!
• "The Spider Clan has sent us a mysterious gift, can we ship it to you to see what's inside?"
  • The next supply shuttle comes loaded with giant spiders, nasty!
• "Your station has been chosen for an epidemiological research project. Send us your cargo shuttle to receive your research samples."
  • The next shuttle comes with human corpses ridden with various viruses, to be used for the benefit of science or traitoring. May also include virus culture bottles.
• "Seems we've ordered doubles of our department resupply packages this month. Can we send them to you?"
  • The next shuttle comes loaded with a variety of free goodies. Sweet! (Does not include extra points. Dang.)
• "It looks like a neighbouring station accidentally delivered their pizza to you instead."
  • You get a bunch of free pizzas! May or may not include a pizza bomb.
• "One of our freighters carrying a bee shipment has been attacked by eco-terrorists. Can you clean up the mess for us?"
  • The next shuttle arrives containing some beekeeping gear, and some bees. Bee careful!
• "We have discovered an active Syndicate bomb near our VIP shuttle's fuel lines. If you feel up to the task, we will pay you for defusing it."
  • The shuttle arrives with a LIVE SYNDICATE BOMB on it. You get a huge sum of credits for accepting it, but is it really worth the risk?
• "A neighboring station needs some help handling some paperwork. Could you help process it for us?"
  • The station gets a bunch of paperwork, addressed to the various heads of staff. Make sure they stamp them and send them back to Central Command through cargo!

Space Dust

Minimum round time: None

Chance of occurrence: Overwhelmingly High

Spawns some high-speed space dust that can break grilles or windows on the edge of the station.

Space Dust (Major)

Minimum round time: 15 minutes

Chance of occurrence: Above Average

"A neighbouring station is throwing rocks at you. Perhaps they've grown tired of your messages."

Spawns a few waves of space dust. Will cause damage to the hull/windows.

Space Vines

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Minimum players: 10

Chance of occurrence: Above Average

A plant which spreads extremely rapidly around the station. Space vines will grow thicker with time, first getting thick enough to block vision, then capable of entangling people. You can resist entanglement, but it is safer to avoid the vines. Airlocks, fire doors and windows will stop their growth until someone opens them. If in an open area, the vines will continue to expand until they engulf every space not blocked off!

To fight the vines:

• Drag a goat, either Pete or one ordered from cargo into the vines. It'll eat any vine it passes into, and even quickly consume them on its own so long as there's any nearby.
• A scythe from a weed control crate is effective.
• Plant-b-gone spray from botany and weedkiller grenades from cargo are also good options.
• Fire will also kill vines dead. Not recommended, as it will also kill anyone unfortunate to be caught around it.

Spontaneous Brain Trauma

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Minimum players: 5

Chance of occurrence: High

Sometimes your brain goes a little wrong.

As a wise man once said: "Didn't make sense not to live for fun, Your brain gets smart, but your head gets dumb"

Stray Cargo Pod

Minimum round time: 10 minutes

Chance of occurrence: High

"Stray cargo pod detected on long-range scanners. Expected location of impact: [impact_area.name]."

A pod containing a random cargo supply pack lands in a random part of the station. Contraband included!

Stray Syndicate Cargo Pod

Minimum round time: 30 minutes

Chance of occurrence: Low

"Stray cargo pod detected on long-range scanners. Expected location of impact: [impact_area.name]."

A pod containing a crate loaded with 30 telecrystals worth of Syndicate Items lands in a random part of the station. A blast from the past.

Stray Meteor

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Minimum players: 15

Chance of occurrence: Above Average

"Our <meteor> sensors have detected an incoming signature approaching <station_name>. Please brace for impact."

A single, random type of meteor flies in the direction of the station. Impact is not guaranteed.

Supermatter Surge

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Minimum Players: 3 Engineers

Chance of occurrence: Above Average

"The Crystal Integrity Monitoring System has detected unusual atmospheric properties in the supermatter chamber, energy output from the supermatter crystal has increased significantly. Engineering intervention is required to stabilize the engine."

The supermatter has a mild flare-up, retaining more energy and generating more heat than usual. Engineering must stabilize and maintain the engine for the duration of this event.

Tram Malfunction

Minimum round time: 15 minutes

Chance of occurrence: Very High

"Our automated control system has lost contact with the tram's on board computer. Please take extra care while we diagnose and resolve the issue. Signals and emergency braking may not be available during this time."

Tram crossing signals go haywire, and tram collisions are more damaging. Only occurs on stations where a tram is present. Remember to look both ways before you cross the tracks!

Wormholes

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Minimum players: 2

Chance of occurrence: Very Low

"Space-time anomalies detected on the station. There is no additional data."

Wormholes start appearing randomly around the station for several minutes. Going into one of these wormholes will teleport you to a random location. Sometimes you might be lucky enough to wind up somewhere good. Sometimes you might find yourself out in the middle of space.

If you have no intention of taking the gamble, you should move around the station in Walk mode. Wormholes that spawn directly on you will not warp you, so remaining perfectly still will ensure your safety. But take care not to let some chucklefuck push you into one!

Wisdom Cow

Chance of occurrence: High - but it can only happen once!

"A wise cow has been spotted in the area. Be sure to ask for her advice."

A cow spawns in a random area on the station. Centcom doesn't tell you where, but the cow will wander around a bit. The first person who interacts with the wisdom cow will receive a puzzling piece of advice, and become a master at a random skill, upon which the wisdom cow will vanish.

Antagonist Events

These events spawn various player-controlled antags that are announced to ghosts.

Abductors

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Minimum players: 20

Chance of occurrence: Average

Spawns an abductor team that will kidnap and experiment on the crew.

Alien Infestation

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Minimum players: 10

Chance of occurrence: Low

"Unidentified lifesigns detected coming aboard <station name>. Secure any exterior access, including ducting and ventilation."

One or more alien larva spawn in random locations aboard the station, their players pulled from ghosts with the role enabled.

Blob

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Minimum players: 20

Chance of occurrence: Low

"Confirmed outbreak of level 5 biohazard aboard <station name>. All personnel must contain the outbreak."

A Blob spawns in a random location on the station. This will prevent the shuttle from leaving until it is either destroyed or kills everyone on station.

Changeling Meteor

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Minimum players: 20

Chance of occurrence: : Below Average

A fleshy meateor containing a live changeling collides with the station.

Fugitives / Hunters

Minimum round time: 30 minutes

Minimum players: 20

Chance of occurrence: Low

Spawns a team of Fugitives in a random spot in Maintenance, with no access and a single toolbox to hack around with. After 10 minutes, a team of Hunters, with basic access, is spawned in through a shuttle, and is assigned to capture the fugitives.

Lone Operative

Minimum round time: None

Chance of occurrence: None, unless the Nuclear Authentication Disk is unsecured, in which case it slowly ticks up the chance infinitely, until a Solo Operative does spawn.

Spawns a single Nuclear Operative, with 20 Telecrystals in their uplink.

Nightmare

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Minimum players: 15

Chance of occurrence: Average

Spawns a sentient Nightmare.

Sentient Disease

Minimum round time: None

Chance of occurrence: Low

Spawns a Sentient Disease on station.

Slaughter Demon

Minimum round time: 1 hour

Chance of occurrence: Extremely Low

Spawns a Slaughter Demon on station.

Space Dragon

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Minimum players: 20

Chance of occurrence: : Low

"A large organic energy flux has been recorded near your station, please stand-by."

Spawns a Space Dragon outside the station.

Space Ninja

Minimum round time: 1 hour

Minimum players: 15

Chance of occurrence: Average

A Space Ninja spawns. 'nuff said here.

Spider Infestation

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Minimum players: 20

Chance of occurrence: Medium

"Unidentified lifesigns detected coming aboard <station name>. Secure any exterior access, including ducting and ventilation."

Spawns two Broodmother Spider eggs in maintenance. Spiders are aggressive, swarming creatures that grow from eggs laid by a Broodmother and can quickly overwhelm the station if not contained.

Swarmers

Minimum round time: 30 minutes

Chance of occurrence: Below Average

"Our long-range sensors have detected an odd signal emanating from your station's gateway. We recommend immediate investigation of your gateway, as something may have come through."

Spawns a Swarmer shell on station. As of 2022, Swarmers have been completely removed from /tg/station code.

Pirates

Minimum round time: 30 minutes

Minimum players: 10

Chance of occurrence: Low

Yar har! We're here for your credits!

The station receives a communication extorting current station funds (80% of ya'rr points to be exact!). If they answer yes, the money is just gone and nothing of interest happens.

If the station refuses to pay or is silent for 3 minutes, a pirate shuttle arrives somewhere in space.

Pirates can activate the Data Siphon - a device that steals station funds and shuts down RnD servers as well as the cargo shuttle. However, this reveals the pirate shuttle with a GPS beacon.

Revenant

Minimum round time: 20 minutes

Chance of occurrence: Below average

Spawns a Revenant on station.

Other Events

There exist certain events that can only occur only under special circumstances!

Wiznerd Events

The big bad list of all the devious magical events that replace the usual random events on the station. These happen upon purchasing the Summon Events ritual at least once, and their frequency increases with each purchase. These also may occur as one of the forced random events when completing an invocation at a Grand Ritual Rune.

Special Events	Prompt	Effects	Chance
Blobies	None	All human corpses turn into non-sentient Blob Zombies.	Average
Change Faces	None	All sentient beings (including the wizard) swap their faces randomly.	High
Change Minds	None	All sentient beings (except for the wizard) swap their minds randomly. An assistant can have his mind swapped with the captain, antags are carried along with the mind, but if you're a changeling, you're sort of boned.	Very Low
Change Places	None	All sentient beings swap places randomly (if they are in the station).	Low
Cursed Items	None	Cursed Katanas, Fake Wizard Robes, LSD Laced Cigarettes, Boxing Gloves, Luchador Masks, Chameleon Masks, and Cat Ears are distributed among the crew.	Average
Department Revolt	The nation of [nation] has been formed. Affected jobs are [message]	You are a separatist! [nation] forever! Protect the sovereignty of your newfound land with your comrades in arms! A random department (greytide, medbay, engineering, science, cargo, or civilian) secedes from the station. OH CARGONIA...	Very Low
Embedpocalypse	None	Everything, everywhere, becomes sticky and will stick to anyone it hits.	Low
Fake Explosion	None	Nuclear alarms go off, makes everyone shit their pants.	Extremely Low
Greentext	The mythical greentext appear at your feet! Pick it up if you dare...	Anyone who picks up the greentext gains an objective to escape alive while carrying the greentext. Problem is, the greentext is absolutely gargantuan and weighs a literal ton.	High
Indentity Spoof	None	Everyone gets random wizard names, including the wizard. Will the real wizard please stand up?	Average
Imposter	None	A fake, identical body double to the real wizard spawns. Can cast fake spells to confuse and scare the crew.	Very Low
Improved Casting	None	The cooldown of a single spell for the Wizard is decreased as if that spell had been taken again.	Average
Invincible	None	A random humanoid is injected with 40 units of adminordrazine, making them invincible for 100 ticks.	Average
Lava	Warning: You feel the ground beneath you getting hot. Waves of heat distort the air. Start: The floor is lava! Get on top of something! End: The ground cools and returns to its usual form.	The ground turns into surprisingly cool lava, lightly damaging anything on the floor. Flood the station with plasma for optimal effect.	Low
Magicarp	Unknown magical entities have been detected near [station_name()], please stand-by.	Magicarps and Chaos Magicarps are spawned around the station	Very Low
Petsplosion	None	The bane of every HOP, animals around the station start to randomly gib.	Low
Possession	You suddenly feel a welling of new spooky powers...	Ghosts become visible to the crew, and can possess objects and spook people.	Low
Race	You feel somehow... different?	Everyone turns into a random different species. Very unfortunate if you happen to turn into a Plasmaman.	Low
RPG Loot	None	All items get a snazzy little pronoun which either buffs or nerfs the item. Items can be buffed by using an item fortification scroll.	Average
Robeless Casting	None	The wizard can now cast all of his spells without any of his robes.	Low
Summon Guns	None	Everyone get guns, some get a survival objective.	Very Low
Summon Magic	None	Everyone gets a wand, some get an objective to steal magical items.	Very Low
Tower of Babel	You feel a magical force affecting your speech patterns!	The wizard gains knowledge of every language. Everyone else is cursed and forgets all languages but are given a single randomized one as a replacement.	Average